Welcome to The Professional Girl’s Guide…

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Welcome to The Professional Girl’s Guide, a blog intended to help busy professional women balance their careers with their personal lives.  Here you will find useful guides on everyday topics, and a forum where you can discuss matters that are most relevant to you as a professional woman.  Find topics on career advancement, health and beauty, finances, dating and relationships, technology, supplementing your income, and many more.

My name is Kara B. Krafty the creator of The Professional Girl’s Guide. I’ve been called a Jill of all trades.  I started this blog because I wanted to share my many interests with busy professional women and help them by providing simple guides on everyday topics.  As an attorney and college instructor, I understand how difficult it is to balance a busy career with a meaningful personal life.  I hope these guides will help you and provide you with the information you need to succeed.

Contributors with specialized knowledge and expertise have contributed to articles on The Professional Girl’s Guide.  If you would like to become a contributor please send a brief bio of yourself via e-mail at karabkrafty@gmail.com.  Don’t forget to “Like” us on Facebook, or follow us on twitter @KaraBKrafty.

Don’t Be a Suck-Up at Work, Be a Go-Getter Instead!

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Brown-noser, suck-up, kiss-up.  There’s always one at work.  You know who I’m talking about.  She brings cookies and donuts every Friday.  She plays golf or joins the same gym as the big boss, just to “run into him.”  She constantly goes around to every single manager and compliments them on everything, and I mean everything.   And she is the biggest “yes-man” on earth. She’s known for being a suck-up, yet her work product is mediocre, even sub-standard.  Her efforts gets her noticed and promoted, while your own hard work gets you nowhere.  Bitch.

Be a Go-Getter, Not a Brown-Noser!
Don’t be known as a suck-up at work.  You may get promoted faster, but the last thing you want is for people to think the only reason you received a promotion is because you brown-nosed the bosses.  Earn the respect of your co-workers by being a go-getter instead!  You want to be known for your hard work, dedication, and quality work-product.

A Go-Getter Talks and is Kind to Everyone at Work, Not Just the Bosses
Get to know everyone at work.  How to Be a Go-Getter Rather than a Brown NoserInvest in time and a little effort to make small talk around the office.  You spend at least 8 hours of your day in close proximity with your co-workers, at least 5 days out of the week.  Take the time to walk around and offer a friendly smile or greeting.  This builds personal rapport with co-workers, who may someday become people you manage.  By greeting your co-workers, you add positivity to the atmosphere and gain go-getter recognition.  It’s important to not only talk to your managers, but everyone no matter what their title or status.  Otherwise you run the risk of being seen as a brown-noser.

A Go-Getter Seeks Work, But Gives Credit Where It’s Due
Do not wait for work to come to you.  In order to look like a go-getter you have to look like, well, a go-getter!  Get started on your work before you are told to do so.  If other employees are stressed or need assistance, offer to help.  Your co-workers and even your boss will surely notice your determination to get things done.  However, keep in mind that you are part of a team.  Therefore, lend encouragement to the other people in the office.  If someone gave you a brilliant idea to work with, give your fellow employee credit where it’s due.  Acknowledge and tell fellow co-workers when they have done a good job or contributed to a particular project.  Don’t take credit for something you didn’t do.  Your co-workers will not appreciate it, nor is it respectable.

A Go-Getter Shows Leadership and Determination, Without Being Bossy
Make sure you are helpful and committed to every project that comes your way.  Take the initiative to be a lead on a difficult issue that other co-workers may not want to touch.  If any conflict arises, play the part of the mediator.  Rather than look at conflict as a negative aspect of your workday, recognize that conflict gives you the opportunity to express your leadership skills.  However, be willing to negotiate and compromise with employees, considering everyone’s idiosyncrasies.  Don’t be too aggressive or step on other people’s toes in the process.  Otherwise, you may look too bossy, and your efforts will be unappreciated.

Get Promoted for the Right Reasons
If you can successfully achieve these skills you will gain the recognition of your boss and colleagues.  Further, you will prove to them that you have managerial skills, truly deserving of a promotion.  Promoted for these reasons, you will gain the respect of your co-workers, supervisors, and most of all – yourself.

What other suggestions do you have?  How do you look like a Go-Getter Without Being a Brown-Noser?  Please leave a comment.

Blogging For Your Business Brings More Business

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To become a successful professional woman, you need to find ways to connect to new clients and customers, while maintaining essential relationships with current contacts.  Starting a blog is a terrific way to inform current clients and discover new ones.  It affords businesses the opportunity to reach out to potential and current clients.  By starting a blog for your business, you can begin to connect with your customers by allowing them to build a personal connection with you.  Oftentimes, marketing efforts are boring and dull, resulting in very little return on your marketing investment.

By reaching out to people through informative and engaging articles on your blog site, you can gain a huge advantage over your competition.  Customers need to trust the company that they purchase products or services from, and without a personal connection, many businesses will find that few are willing to dish out the funds and purchase their products.

Blogging creates more clients and customersWhat is the Best Way to Build a Blog?
There are generally two ways to go about creating a blog site.  First, you can connect your blog to your existing company’s website.  This is probably the easiest way to get the process started.  It makes it easy for clients who already view your company website to learn more about what you offer by clicking on your blog page.  Secondly, you can create your own blog site by registering a domain name just for your blog.  This is similar to how you may have created your company’s website.

Getting Your Blog Found on Search Engine Searches
A blog, much like a website, needs to be search engine optimized.  What that means is that if someone wants to search for your business, they will enter search terms on Google, or some other search engine.  If your blog has the right “search terms” you will appear on the first pages of the search engine.  Certainly, you can beat your competition by appearing in such a coveted spot on these Google searches.

The real advantage to blog writing is that search engines such as Google and Bing pay a lot of attention to what articles you write on your blog, thereby allowing your articles to appear in search engine results.  As we all know, the higher you are ranked on search engines, the better chance you will have of attracting new customers to your business.

Creating Quality Content Drives Customers to your Blog
Creating quality content is key to getting your blog found on search engines.  You should use keywords, or words that customers will search for online, throughout your blog articles.  It is also important to continually post articles often in order to maintain and attract new clients.  You may choose to post an article one at a time, but be prepared to keep the articles flowing on a regular basis.  One suggestion is to have a few articles prepared in advance to avoid a lull in fresh content being posted.  Often, one of the biggest mistakes business owners make is posting a few blog articles in the beginning, but then falling behind on creating and posting new content.  This results in less traffic to your blog as readers will lose interest in you blog site.  In other words, if you cannot keep your readers engaged, you will not keep them.

This article was written by Professional Girl’s Guide contributor and marketing consultant Joshua Sutterfield.  Feel free to follow him on Twitter @SavvyJosh.

Dress for Success as a Career Woman: Top DON’Ts for Work

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Dressing for success can be difficult for a professional woman.  We want to be taken seriously for our quality of work and skills, but also want to show off our unique style and individualism through our wardrobe.  What to do?  Here are the top things you DON’T want to do when dressing for work:

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DON’T Show Too Much Cleavage at Work
You’ve got them, so flaunt them right?  Wrong.  By showing the twins off at work, you run the risk of being known for your boobs rather than your wit and hard work.  Not only that, but you will be taken less seriously, and perceived as unintelligent.  Studies have shown that women who are dressed more discreetly are perceived as more professional.

That doesn’t mean that you have to cover your assets with a parka or wear turtlenecks!  A little bit of cleavage and a tight sweater now and then won’t do you harm.  Just vary your outfits and necklines enough so you will be known for your impeccable tastes and style, rather than your cupsize and lack of professionalism.

DON’T Wear Too Much Makeup to Work
Applying too much makeup will leave you looking like a clown.  You will waste money trying to achieve a look that actually detracts, rather than enhance your overall appearance.  Instead of spending precious time applying makeup, go for a natural quick and easy look.  Not only will you save time and money by doing so, but you will end up looking more professional and work appropriate.

DON’T Dress Too Casually for Work
During the hot summer months, we’re tempted to wear less and less clothing to work.  But work is not a Caribbean vacation on the beach.  Studies have shown that by dressing too casually, you run the risk of looking like you are untrustworthy, and dressing too casually can even lead to less work productivity.

Make every effort to avoid looking too casual at work.  Avoid bare-shoulders, sandals that look like flip flops, shorts, casual t-shirts, and other weekend type clothing.  Save it for the beach on your day off!

DON’T Show Off your Tattoos, Body Piercings, and Other Body Art
Studies have shown that about half of Americans in their 20′s now have a tattoo or some other body or facial piercing.  However, just because a younger generation have accepted them into the mainstream, doesn’t necessarily mean that your clients or employer accepts them.

If you went to a dentist who had several facial piercings, large visible tattoos, and huge stretched earlobes, what would you think?  Although she may have a unique style and be the best dentist on earth, the sad truth is that most people would reconsider, and go to another dentist.  She just does not look professional enough.  Cover your tattoos and remove facial piercings before going into work.  Avoid getting your earlobes stretched altogether, since it would be difficult to hide.

DON’T Wear Ill-Fitting Clothing at Work
You’ve worked hard to get to where you are today.  So dress the part.  Just because you got a screaming deal on that Chanel suit, doesn’t mean you should wear it if it doesn’t flatter your body.  Wearing clothes that are too tight may leave you looking fatter than you really are, especially if your clothes are bunching in all the wrong places.  Clothes that are too tight may even cause health issues like leg numbness, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, and other problems.  On the other hand, wearing clothes that are too loose will leave you looking sloppy and lacking style.

Opt for clothes that are well-tailored and fit your body type.  Not only will you look well-groomed and polished, it may boost your self-confidence, making you more successful at work!

DON’T Wear a Mini-Skirt to Work
I’ve been accused of wearing skirts and dresses that are way too short for work in my career.  But the one rule of thumb I always abided by is the “Fingertips Rule.”  With my arms hanging straight down next to my sides, if my hemline fell below or was right at the tips of my fingers, then it was okay for me to wear to work.  However, if my hemline fell above the tips of my fingers, then the skirt was not work-appropriate. Of course, if you have freakishly short arms or cheat a little, this rule of thumb may not work for you!  Just use common sense and you will be fine!

Don’t distract people with your “mini skirts.”  Wear a hemline that is work-appropriate and get noticed for your impeccable sense of style, hard-work, and intelligence.

What are your top DON’Ts for work?  Share a comment with the Professional Girl’s Guide and it may be added to the Slideshow!

Office Romance – Is it Worth It?: Karaism

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Hi Kara B. Krafty,

I hope you can help me.  I work as an account executive in marketing in Southern California.  Recently I’ve been flirting with this cute guy at work, and I’m starting to really like him.  I think he’s interested too, since he’s been hinting that we should hang out after work.  Also, he makes every effort to touch my arm or joke with me when we are together.  Office Romance - Should I do it?He’s also talked to me about some personal issues he’s had with girls he’s dated.  I work so many hours that I never meet anyone, and he’s a really great guy.

But I’ve been holding off because I’m kind of nervous about what’s going to happen.  I heard that I might get moved to his team in the next quarter, and what if things dont’ work out?  I don’t want things to be weird.  Do you think I should go for it?  What should I do?

Girly Girl in SoCal

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Dear Girly Girl,

It’s hard being a single professional woman in the dating world.  A few years ago, Forbes.com published a highly controversial article titled, “Don’t Marry Career Women.”  The author cited research encouraging men not to marry professional women because their marriages would likely end in divorce, that they would become unhealthier, and their career-minded wives would likely cheat on them.  It’s hard enough that we put our personal lives on hold to advance our careers, but to be trashed by the media for doing so is horrendous.  Such articles and misconceptions about professional women makes it that more difficult to find a compatible mate.  So it’s understandable why you would be drawn to someone at your workplace, where you spend the vast majority of your time.

However, I would encourage you to think twice before plunging into an office romance.  First off, your instincts are right - what if things don’t work out?  Do you enjoy talking to your exes?   Well you will be forced to work with this ex and see him every workday should things not work out.  What if he cheated on you, or you end up hating him?   Things can be very weird and uncomfortable.  Second, what if the dynamics change at work where one of you is promoted, or given the lead on a project?  The change in position may cause a strain on your relationship.  If you break up, things may get even hairier.  Finally, do you want to become the topic of gossip and office fodder?  Many work environments spread gossip like it’s junior high school free period.  Can you stand the attention and extra scrutiny?  Some employers may also require you to disclose office relationships.  Some go so far as to discourage and frown upon such relationships.

Given the above considerations, at the end of the day, you have to decide if the guy is worth all of the potential headaches involved with an office romance.  If he is, then go for it!  If not, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and with online dating sites, the possibilities are almost limitless.  Good luck and happy fishing.

Kara B. Krafty

For more information on dating or finding a match online please see my previous blog on surviving the first week of a breakup and dating on match.com.

Karaism is an advice column by Kara B. Krafty.  Every Wednesday morning, The Professional Girl’s Guide responds to a pressing concern from a reader.  A new question is featured each week.  For this week’s current advice, click on Advice Column.

Best Time Management Apps for Professional Women

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It’s difficult managing your time when you’re a busy professional woman.  Between working, taking care of the house, paying bills, running errands, and taking care of children, managing time can seem more like a juggling act.  Don’t fret!  Incorporate a time management app in your routine to help balance and manage your life. What are the best time management apps for work-life balance for busy professional women?

2Do Helps You Manage Your Time by Creating Lists and Reminders
2Do helps you create a list of things you need to do and when you need to do them.  This uniquely functional application provides you with time-management organization conveniently in one location. Rather than running around hectically trying to figure out where you need to be and when, 2Do can be accessed from your smartphone or iPad at anytime.  It also provides you with simple and effective reminders.  This tool has been voted as the best productivity app for iPhone for the second time in a row.  As a busy professional woman, you can keep track of your client meetings, times to pick up your children from their after-school programs, or the details of date night with your significant other!

Awesome Note Let’s You Create Notes and Shopping Lists
Another great app is Awesome Note.  Like 2Do, Awesome Note allows you to create a list of things you need to do throughout the day, the week, or even the month.  Set an alarm to remind you when you have a meeting or an appointment coming up. Another great feature is the availability of customizable shopping lists.  Awesome Note keeps your shopping lists well organized.  Now you can conveniently have your grocery lists as well as notes on how to cook tonight’s dinner all in one location.

Klok Allows You to Prioritize Your Tasks Through a Hierarchy System
Women often feel frenzied trying to figure out what they need to do first.  Klok allows you to create a schedule based on a hierarchy.  You can choose what tasks are most important so you know what you have to do first.  For example, pick-up the kids after work, go pay the bills, get the groceries, and then head home.  You can easily plug in your schedule through simple drag and drop features.  You can also add new schedules as they come along for the best time management possible.

Time Master Balances Your Workload by Tracking Time Spent on Projects
If you are a woman that digs deep into your work performance, consider the Time Master application.  This app allows you to track how much time you spend on each work related project.  You can assign specific times that you work on a particular project so that you are able to organize your time better for increased work performance.  Managing the time you spend on each project also allows you to configure your time so that you can spend more time on what is most important to you – your family and loved ones.

Contributor Joshua Sutterfield co-wrote this article.

Your Facebook Postings Can Cost You Your Job: Karaism

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Hi Kara B. Krafty,

I’ve been unemployed for the past few months and was recently laid off. I’ve applied to several jobs, and haven’t even been contacted for an interview. My sister said that I need to be careful with the postings and pictures that I posted on Facebook, since employers look at that sort of thing nowadays. She says I should delete some photos I have on facebook, and some other posts. I think she’s overreacting! What’s appropriate to post on Facebook? I want to make sure I get a job, soon!

Janie Neil

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Hi Janie,

Actually, your sister has some valid points. Facebook recently made it a violation of their Statement of Rights and Responsibilities to share or solicit Facebook passwords. Facebook wanted to address an alarming practice where employers are asking applicants to reveal their passwords Using Facebook Can Cost you your Jobon Facebook, in order to deny potential employment. The legality of this practice is yet to be addressed, but Facebook believes that employers are exposing themselves to potential liability in discrimination lawsuits.

Until this issue is addressed, it is best to err on the safe side. Safeguard the information you display on your Facebook wall, especially if you are concerned about finding a job. Control your audience, and ensure that your posts and photos are only viewable by friends or friends of friends. Do not give your password to anyone, especially a prospective employer. Finally, you may want to remove any photos and posts that would make your elderly Grandmother cringe. If it offends your “Gradmother,” it will likely offend a conservative employer.

It’s a competitive job market, so maximize your chances of landing a job. Don’t let the photos you posted on Facebook of you chugging a bottle of Tequila last summer hold you back! Take down that rant where you called your boyfriend an a** the night you were fighting! You never know who’s going to be watching or how it will be used against you. Best of luck on your job search and future employment!

Kara B. Krafty

To learn more about how to properly use Facebook and other social media to promote and market yourself visit The Professional Marketing Forum.

Karaism is an advice column by Kara B. Krafty.  Every Wednesday morning, The Professional Girl’s Guide responds to a pressing concern from a reader.  A new question is featured each week.  For this week’s current advice, click on Advice Column.

Nothing in this article should be construed as legal advice and should only be used for informational purposes.

Top 5 Tips: Surviving the First Week After a Break Up

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He was Mr. Perfect.  You dreamed of having his children, growing old together, and vacationing your summers away in the Isle of Wight. It was the fairytale you’ve always Suriving First Week of Breakupdreamed of. But the fairytale quickly turned into a nightmare. Your relationship is now over, but your life doesn’t have to be!

Tip 1: Surround Yourself With Friends and Family
One of the best ways to get your mind off of your ex is to remind yourself that you have others that will unconditionally love you, and be there for you no matter what.  Two years ago, my ex-boyfriend dumped me after being together for seven and a half years.  I quickly decided that I no longer wanted to waste one single second on him, and focused my energies on family and friends.  I reached out to my sisters and friends whom I’ve distanced myself from during the relationship. My parents drove seven hours from Southern California to help me move out, and settle into my new place.  Friends at work, quickly became close friends, offering shoulders to cry on and hours of free therapy sessions.  Being surrounded by so much love and support helped me during that first painful week.

Tip 2: Surround Yourself With Work and Career
Remind yourself that you are an independent woman, and have a wonderful career.  You’ve spent years in school and worked hard to become the professional woman that you are today.  This is something that you should be proud of!  Not only will it help you get your mind off of your ex, it will boost your own confidence in yourself!  During the first week after the break up, you deserve to know that you are a successful professional woman.

The first day after my break up, I stayed home from work.  I sat in the apartment that we shared, and moped around crying.  It was a terrible day.  Although I asked for a few days off of work, I decided to go into work the very next day.  At first it was difficult to concentrate, but I forced myself to focus.  I concentrated on preparing for a hearing.  I read various cases that I never got around to reading.  I stayed busy during the day, and was able to get my mind off of my ex.  I was also reminded that I was a capable, and intelligent attorney.  This is something that I will always have, no matter what happens in my love life.

Tip 3: Concentrate on Your Hobbies and Passions
Focus your efforts during the first week after a break up on yourself and the things you enjoy doing without him.  Hobbies may not seem enjoyable, even dreadful after you break up with someone.  But reminding yourself that you can still have a good time without him can really help.  I enjoy making cards, singing, and playing the guitar.  During the first week of the break up, I continued these hobbies and found them to be helpful in keeping my mind off of my ex.

You may argue that all of your hobbies remind you of your ex because you do everything with him.  Well, it’s time to consider a new hobby.  Try yoga or perhaps even a blog.  The digital age has provided people with plenty of opportunities to create an outlook of expression.  If you are good at photography, try starting a blog that offers tips to other potential photographers.  Perhaps you are good at cooking.  Offer a few recipe ideas to others who are looking for quick tasty meals.  All of these things give you something else to focus on and that is the most important thing you can do after a break up occurs.

Tip 4: Accept That There is a Life Without Him
One of the best ways to start the healing process, is to understand and accept that there is going to be a life after your ex.  Not just any life, but an amazing one!  Planning a future, and making plans  with friends and family will help you.  Perhaps you can plan a get together with a group of close-knit friends, or a vacation with your girlfriends in the near future.  Not only will this help you get over him, but it will give you something to look forward to.  Immediately after the break up, I planned a vacation trip back home to Southern California.  I booked the trip and looked forward to seeing my friends and family without my ex.

Tip 5: Take Care of Yourself and Remind Yourself that You are Beautiful
During the first week of the break up, you may be tempted to gorge on an entire pizza, or stuff your face full of ice cream.  You may also try to drink an entire bottle of gin all by yourself, or a six-pack of beer to drown your sorrows.  Perhaps you will go and sleep with the first person that picks up on you at the bar.  Try to refrain from these harmful activities.  They may feel good at first, but the harm done to your mind and body will have a long-lasting effect.  Instead, focus your energies on improving your mind and self-confidence.  Continue your workout routine, and eat healthy.  Perhaps you can indulge in a massage or facial.  These things will help you in the long run, without taking a toll.

Kara B. Krafty Modeling Photo

Photo from my modeling shoot with Flortini Designs. She customizes veils and other wedding accessories.

In addition to these things, remind yourself that you are beautiful, inside and out.  Let yourself check out the cute waiter at the restaurant.  Flirt with the hot guy at work.  You’re free now, and plenty of guys will be happy to step up to the plate!  After my break up, I immediately signed up for match.com.  I did not use their services until months later, but I found the process to be a rite of passage.  It helped me realize that there were thousands of men out there, and I was now free!  In addition to signing up on match.com, my dear friend Tina Dang of Flortini Designs scheduled a modeling session with me.  She reminded me of how beautiful I am inside and out, and wanted to use my photos for her business.  The photoshoot boosted my confidence, and provided great photos to use for my match.com profile, where I met my current boyfriend.

Quick and Natural Makeup Tips for Everyday

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Looking professional and successful requires more than just donning the right business outfit.  You want to appear groomed at all times without going overboard.  Applying too much makeup before you head to work can leave you looking like a clown rather than a successful professional woman.  However, wearing no makeup to work may leave you looking unprofessional, or even worse, tired or haggard.  Just applying a little bit of makeup everyday, will not only enhance your look, but complete the well-polished look that every professional woman strives for.

A Bit of Coverup to Hide any FlawsEveryday Natural Makeup for Professional Women and Work
Opting for a mineral powder foundation, applied lightly to your skin can mask any skin flaws or defects while still giving you an all-natural look.  I’m a huge fan of Bare Escentuals.  It provides me the coverage I need, and lasts all day long.  I just “shake, tap, and buff” the flaws away, and it lasts all day long.

If you don’t have time to put on powder in the mornings, consider using a tinted moisturizer.  You can blend uneven skintone in one step.  On the days that I’m rushing out the door, I use Aveeno Tinted Moisturizer in Medium.  Plus, it has SPF 30 to protect my precious skin from free radicals and the sun’s damaging rays.

Blush Your Cheeks
Accentuate your cheekbones with just the lightest shade of pinks or other similarly nude colors.  Apply blush lightly across the cheekbones and perhaps the ridge of your nose.  Powder blushes work best and allow you to control how much you apply.  You do not want to apply any blush that is too dark in color or too much or you will end up looking less than professional.  I use Stila’s custom color blush in Coral.  It works with every skin tone by reacting to each wearer’s PH levels.

Dress up your Eyes
When I have time, I always line my eyes with eyeliner.  I prefer to use Almay’s 16-hour eyeliner.  It lasts well into the night, especially for those long days at the office.  However, on the days that I’m too busy, I will simply apply the colors in a color-coordinated eyeshadow quad.  I love using Shiseido’s Silky Eye Shadow Quad.  It comes in neutral and work-appropriate shades.  Avoid any brightly colored tones, and use a light touch.  Stick to corresponding blends of color between your clothes and your makeup.

A bit of mascara in Brown or Black, and your eyes are complete.  If your mascara is too thick or too dark, it detracts from your professional look.  Definitely opt for smudge-proof and waterproof mascaras so you do not risk having smudged or flaking mascara under your eyes.  I prefer to use Covergirl LashBlast.  This thing definitely makes my eyes pop, without the nasty fallout!

A Bit of Lip Gloss or Shimmer and You’re Done
I find that lipstick tends to dry my lips out, and have to constantly reapply throughout the day drying them out even more.  Putting a bit of lip gloss, and reapplying when needed does not dry my lips as much.  Instead of lip gloss consider using a chap stick with shimmer.  My favorite is Burt’s Bee’s Lip Shimmer.  It keeps my lips perfectly moist, but adds a bit of color and sparkle.  With my lips done, I’m now ready to tackle my busy work day, and looking like a beautiful and well-polished professional woman at the same time.

Talking Your Way Out of a Ticket: The Do’s and Don’ts

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The red and blue lights flash in your rear view mirror.  You hear sirens and your heart sinks. You’re being pulled over by the police.  Immediately, you are remorseful for driving over the speed limit.  You can’t afford another point or two on your record, or the hike in your insurance premiums.  What do you do to get out of the ticket?

Do's and Don'ts of Talking Out of a Traffic TicketIt’s estimated that over 100,000 people receive a speeding ticket a day in the United States.  However, a NHTSA survey found that nearly 1 in 4 people got away with only a warning.  What’s their secret?  Hoping to avoid any future tickets, I asked this question of everyone I’ve met who’s ever gotten out of a ticket.  On the flip side, I’ve asked every police officer or Highway Patrol officer why some people got away with only a warning, while working as a Deputy District Attorney in Southern California.  Based on my own personal survey, here are the top Do’s and Don’ts of talking yourself out of a ticket.

Do Be Polite
Police officers work hard to protect you and your community, and they deserve a little respect.  The least you can do is be polite when you are pulled over.  Several officers I’ve spoken to have let people go because the drivers were polite and respectful when pulled over.

Do Use Your Vulnerability
You may call it sexist or a reversion to the past, but sometimes it pays to be a woman when you are facing a ticket.  My sister was 8 months pregnant when she was pulled over by a police officer for making an illegal turn.  The officer took one look at her, and let her go with only a warning.

As for myself, after running several stop signs, I got away with only a warning by crying and telling the officer I was lost, and had no idea how to use my new GPS.  The officer took pity on me and showed me how to get back to the highway.  Officers may not intentionally know it, but even while writing tickets they are there to rescue damsels in distress.

Do Be Honest
Officers do a lot more than just give out tickets!  They may only pull you over to determine whether you’re a criminal or violated a law.  A friend of mine was pulled over because an officer suspected him of driving erratically.  When pulled over, my friend truthfully told the officer that he was only trying to get around a slow moving van.  The officer let him go.

On another occasion, the same friend was pulled over for making an illegal left turn out of a night club parking lot.  The officer asked him if he had been drinking.  My friend truthfully replied that he had two beers earlier in the night.  The officer conducted a quick field sobriety test on him – the horizontal nystagmus test, and determined that he was not under the influence.  The officer let my friend go with only a warning.  Once an officer determines that you did not violate a crime, many will let you go with only a warning.

Do Be Humorous
One CHP Officer I knew previously let drivers go when the driver managed to stay positive and tell funny stories when pulled over.  Humor worked for my brother-in-law who got away with only a warning when he admitted to the officer that he was speeding because he really needed to go to the bathroom.  Staying positive and telling a joke may get you out of a dreaded ticket.

DON’T Flash, Expose Yourself, or Proposition Officers For Sex
Come on ladies, you’re not that kind of professional woman.  You are a doctor, lawyer, CPA, small-business owner, or any other respectful professional woman.  Act like one.  Every police officer I’ve met have had women expose themselves, flash them, or proposition them for sex.  Not one has admitted, at least to me, that this has worked.  Do not compromise your integrity to get out of a ticket.  It’s better to pay for the ticket than lose your sense of worth.

DON’T Be Arrogant or Rude
You may have had years of education on the police officer and you may even be smarter than him.  But this is not the time to insist that the officer call you “Doctor,” or tell the officer he’s doing his job wrong because he’s in violation of a Supreme Court case you learned in law school.  Officers have told me that they will “all of a sudden” notice a broken tail light or overly tinted window when the driver becomes arrogant.  So unless you want to pay a speeding and fix-it ticket, don’t be arrogant.

DON’T Name Drop
Many officers have told me that a lot of people they’ve pulled over will ask them if they work with such and such officer on the force.  Inevitably, the officer does not know this person, and even if the officer is best friends with the other officer, the reference will not get you out of the ticket.   So unless you’re the Police Chief’s daughter, chances are name dropping will not work.  It’s best to stay clear of name dropping.  Officers are smart, and will see right through you.

Nothing in this article should be construed as legal advice and should only be used for informational purposes.

Networking 101 Part I: Start Doing It Old School

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You’re all set on networking.  You update your status on Facebook every two hours, have a religious following on Twitter, have thousands of connections on LinkedIn, and you’ve positioned your blog as the next Perez Hilton.  Good for you!  In an age where teenagers would rather text than have regular conversations, you’ve covered all the bases on networking, right?  Wrong.

How to Start NetworkingSocial media and networking are great tools to market yourself as a professional woman, but don’t discount face-to-face networking.  It still works!  A Gallup Study found that “the most frequent type of social networking is still analog: face-to-face or over the phone.”  So until we entirely stop interacting face-to-face with each other, you need to get off of your butts, and out on the streets.  Start networking, old school.

So where to start?  At this point, you’re probably picturing yourself at a dreaded industry event, talking to a dull person vying for your business card.  But networking doesn’t have to be just that. Whether you’re attending a friend’s wedding, sitting on a subway on your way to work, or watching a game at the local pub, every activity you engage in is a ripe opportunity to engage in social networking.

Several years ago while working as a Financial Adviser at a major brokerage firm in Washington D.C., I took every opportunity I could to establish social networks with people I met.  No, I was not throwing my business cards out at people, and begging for them on the street.  Every place I went, I introduced myself to people I met and got to know a little bit about their lives.  I did this while out and about the city, riding on the Metro, or waiting in line for my coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts.  Sometimes the conversation would last a minute or two and I would never see that person again.  Other times, I’ve talked to that person for hours, and created friendships that’s lasted for years.  That’s all networking is, establishing a social connection with another person.  What you do with that social connection is up to you.

So don’t be scared.  It’s not as bad as you think it is.  I know it can be dreadful, but networking face-to-face will pay off in the long run.  It can help you gain more business, help you land your next job, and as a professional woman, a skill you must learn to master.